Теократический Монархист (ign) wrote,
Теократический Монархист
ign

Иммиграционная служба США вводит в действие новый тест на гражданство

Наша иммиграционная служба, после нескольких лет бесконечных обсуждений и согласований, с сегодняшнего дня ввела в действие (пока в тестовом режиме) новые вопросы для экзамена (собеседования) на получение американского гражданства.

Особой паники это известие, впрочем, не вызвало, и даже не попало в список основных новостей сегодняшнего дня, хотя корреспондент CNN (Richard Roth) не смог удержаться от того, чтобы не озадачить вопросами из нового теста нескольких случайных прохожих:

ROTH: Who's is the Senate majority leader now?

MAN ON THE STREET: The girl. That's the lady. That's Pelosi, Dianne Pelosi.

ROTH: That's the House, not the Senate, smarty pants.

...

ROTH: What did Susan B. Anthony do?

MAN #1: Suffragist. Susan B. Anthony is a suffragette.

MAN #2: Oh no, she wrote the uh..the uh..

MAN #!: She's a suffragette for women's rights.

MAN #2: No, no. She wrote the Star Spangled Banner.

MAN #1: No she didn't.



Но лучше всего на это известие прореагировала неизвестный мне ранее блоггер emily2, предложившая собственные варианты вопросов/ответов для экзамена на гражданство, которые я и привожу ниже:

  1. your daughter decides to marry someone of another religion. do you...
    (a) beat her.
    (b) never let her in the house EVER AGAIN.
    (c) threaten the future husband.
    (d) wish her well. the united states is about personal choices.

  2. your son is making fun of the president in public. do you...
    (a) tell him to shut up, because he'll get in BIG TROUBLE.
    (b) grab the family and head for the canadian border, because the officials will be arriving at any minute to cuff him and take him away.
    (c) tell him that being a good citizen means keeping quiet.
    (d) what the hell... it's a free country. you're allowed to call bush a douchebag. the only people who care are freepers, and they're just keyboard thugs.

  3. you're from BLAH and you find out your next door neighbor is from POOT. BLAH and POOT are countries in a volatile region of the world, and in that region of the world, the citizens of BLAH and the citizens of POOT don't get along. in fact, suicide bombing and random military raids aren't uncommon.
    (a) teach your children that POOTies are treacherous, murderous people.
    (b) put a stink bomb under the door of your neighbor.
    (c) start hoarding weapons. you never know if that dirty POOT will rape your children.
    (d) shut up, and drop your baggage at the door. you no longer live in BLAH, because something shady about BLAH caused you to move here, and you wanted your kids to have a better life. that's why you came here in the first place, right? bake your neighbor a cake and invite them over to see the sopranos. and put your kids in the same little league, and deal with it.

  4. you look across the alley into your neighbor's house, and your neighbor's college-aged son is making out with another man inside the house. do you...
    a) call the police. homosexuality is a capital crime.
    b) tell your kids that if they do what "those men" are doing you will personally kill them.
    c) get the guys' attention and threaten them with bodily harm.
    d) mind your own business. it's legal, after all.
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